Q&A: M&C Saatchi Asia’s Chris Jaques

What is your current state of mind?
Pretty stupid, occasional ability to laugh at things no-one else thinks are funny.

What is your greatest fear?
To look into the mirror and discover that - noooo! - I’m Jeffrey Yu!

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Skin like the back of a cow.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Intelligence. I find it intimidating.

Who is your hero?
Connie, my wonderful PA.

What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Virtue. It’s boring.

On what occasion do you lie?
Whenever I can.

Name one thing about yourself that few people know.
If you turn me upside down and shake me, it makes me feel small.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
‘So what the f*ck should we do now?’, ‘Does anyone have a toothpick?’.

What talent would you most like to have?
Talent.

What’s your most evocative childhood memory?
If I really concentrate, I think I can remember my first day in advertising.

What do you consider your greatest achievement?
Staying employed for as long as I have.

What is your most marked characteristic?
Amiable idiocy.

Which historical figure do you most identify with and why?
Homer Simpson - taught us the first principle of a happy life: ‘If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doing’.

What makes you happy?
Almost everything.

When did you last cry and why?
Aftershock. Cried like a baby.

What is your greatest regret?
None. Every disaster is simply a laugh waiting to happen.

If your office was burning down, what object would you save and why?
I’d save myself first, no question. I like my life, and I never want it to end.

What would you do if you were invisible for the day?
Drink five pints of beer very quickly, before creeping slowly into Steve Elrick’s office, where I would relieve myself joyously all over his computer. This will pay Steve back for the day he did the same to my fax machine.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?
Oh my god! I’m Jeffrey Yu!!

What’s your best joke?
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.